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August 15, 2004

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jayt
This comment a little late . . . but I really like this one as well, have returned to it many times since you first posted it. Not sure how to say this in an efficient or even clear way (there's probably a literary term for the sort of thing I want to describe) but the way I'm reading it, the enjambement Ivy mentioned is negated/raised to another level by the immediately following phrase "There are / easier ways of // making / sense [...]" (by consciously calling-out the enjambment); and its having-been-negated is negated/raised yet again when the having-been-negated becomes a sort of metaphor for "[...] yelling / across rising water". I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seems like a great deal of motion/work occurs at this seemingly tiny juncture . . .
Ivy
Groovy. I love the enjambement of "its weight over my shoulder blades" ...very cool.

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